Before I'm
by Keeshe Kal'daka
Summary: [ RanKen ] Will Ran ever have a chance to tell Ken his feelings.....?


Before I'm...  
  
By Keeshe Kal'daka  
  
  
  
  
  
Ran Fujimiya never noticed that blood was innocent.  
  
Yes, blood, the substance that has been washed from his hands night after night of his missions. The stain which had first seemed his curse and sin, but now, he noticed it was innocent. It didn't curse, it didn't poison minds, it just made a person live. Thats right, it was the life of someone, keep one alive for another day. Ran and his team mates cursed the blood they were covered in, now, Ran had a clear mind.  
  
He was watching his own blood.  
  
It was leaving him, his body.  
  
Would his team mates curse his blood once they find him? They shouldn't, its only him...  
  
Blood wasn't what made him kill, made him fight for revenage, it was nothing but life, staining him now over his trench coat, his gloved hands, and about his prone form.  
  
He was dying...  
  
  
  
  
  
----  
  
Moon hangs around  
  
A blade over my head  
  
Reminds me  
  
What to do before I'm dead  
  
Night consumes light  
  
The honesty I dread  
  
Reminds me what to do before I'm dead  
  
---  
  
  
  
  
  
The mission had gone wrong. From the very start it was a disaster.  
  
Siberian and Abyssinian were watching from the rooftop, while Bombay and Balinese took the main floor, trap the target in the middle. They just didn't anticipate more guards, guards that attcked them on the roof.  
  
Guns, they always use guns to try an kill them. Machine guns, automatics, 8mms, any type of gun to have a man on his knees, maybe even dead before he falls.  
  
It was a surprise at first, to be attacked unaware, but Abyssinian and Siberian did not lose their skills as assassins. It was a good fight. The guards were dead, littering the rooftop, all gone.  
  
They were still alive. To what Ran thought at first, but when turning, he finds Ken lying on the ground, not moving. All fear, madness, grief weld up into the man of ice, bursting forth to see the brunette there. He thought he could protect Ken forever, he couldn't, not now. He was going to move forward to find Ken alright and alive, but when he moved, he crumbled. He had forgotten in the fight that he was shot. Twice. In the shoulder and in the hip. How could he have fought after shots like those? Only the gods above could answer.  
  
He had tried to reach out to Ken, his hand soaked of blood.  
  
He needed to touch Ken.  
  
  
  
----  
  
To see you  
  
To touch you  
  
----  
  
  
  
Now, laying there, only a few feet away from the other prone form, Ran wept.  
  
Hot salty tears pooled into broken violet eyes, staring at the back of that brown leather jacket. The pain has long been forgotten, numb in his slowly breathing body, he didn't care.  
  
Why couldn't he save him? He had done so many times before. Why now? He never got the chance... The chance to tell Ken.  
  
Tell Ken he loved him.  
  
  
  
----  
  
Epochs fly, reminds me  
  
What I hide, reminds me  
  
The desert skies  
  
Cracks the spies  
  
Reminds me what I never tried  
  
The ocean wide salted red  
  
Reminds me what to do before I'm dead  
  
----  
  
  
  
  
  
He tried hundreds of times. Let those words go from his lips and his heart. They never came. To many chances and he passed them up, hoping for a better time. Now there wasn't any time left. His chance was gone. His Ken was gone. He was gone.  
  
Why can't Ken be in his arms now? They were going to die, least let him have what he wanted and love for so long. Silent, with-held, broken love. Thats what it was. He couldn't have Ken then, he can't have him now. The world and fate was still so cruel. He was losing everything as his blood was being spilt and his body was slipping away.  
  
It was all too late...  
  
  
  
  
  
----  
  
To see you  
  
To touch you  
  
To feel you  
  
To tell you  
  
----  
  
  
  
  
  
'Gomen, Ken.' Ran thought as he stared, having not felt the tears slip down his face, mingle into his puddle of blood, more soon coursed down in fellowship. Again he tried to reach out to Ken, but his love was so far away.  
  
'I tried to tell you... I tried so hard.' He couldn't speak, for nothing would come out but sobs he had surpressed years ago.  
  
Ken was everything he needed in the life he was damned to play, Ken was his line, his comfort, his heaven. It can't be anymore. Ken was gone. The light is dead. And so was he, soon he will be...  
  
'I wish you could hear me... Me, Ran Fujimiya, say these words... Words I wanted to scream, shout, sing, hollar to the world.. I can't say them now.. You won't hear me... I wish... I wish I had another chance! Another chance to love you, Ken.'  
  
His body began to shake. He was sobbing, he was in pain but he sobbed, quietly, letting harsh breathe come between clenched teeth. Vision became blurry, the moonlight, the stars, and Ken were floating in a color mass.  
  
  
  
  
  
----  
  
The sun reclines.....remind me  
  
The desert skies....remind me  
  
The ocean wide salted red  
  
Reminds me  
  
----  
  
  
  
  
  
The body that Ran had been staring at for maybe seconds or hours began to move. There was a sound of a pained moan in the air. Wide, tear stained, violet eyes widen in awe to find Ken turning slightly, from his side to rest on his back. Ken was alive. In pain but alive before his eyes. His love was alive.  
  
Confused dark eyes turn to look around, engulfing information about his surroundings, all so soon did those eyes land on him. They widen as round as Ran's were. Surprise written in that beautiful face.  
  
A small smile spread over Ran's lips, as tear fell with joy. His Ken was alive...  
  
But he was dying...  
  
His chance was dying as well. He had to hurry and say...  
  
Ken started reaching out to him, fear in those eyes when finding blood around his comrade. "Aya..." He sounded in pain, but he was stubborn... Another thing Ran loved about him.  
  
That smile faltured to self bitterness.  
  
'I'm Ran... That's my name.. Ran... Not Aya...'  
  
If only Ken knew. He should have told him his real name, so Ken would really know who loved him to Death and Darkness itself.  
  
  
  
  
  
----  
  
To see you  
  
To touch you  
  
To feel you  
  
----  
  
  
  
  
  
Why can't the words come now?  
  
Would it be better if he said nothing?  
  
Let Ken live on happily?  
  
But Ken always wanted love... From so many people, and he was loved, so much. Can't he know? Can't he see? Look into those eyes and he has to see. Read what is there if not Ran's lips.  
  
'I tried...'  
  
His body hurts...  
  
"Aya?" He called to him again...  
  
The blood hasn't stop flowing...  
  
'Gomen... Ken...'  
  
His lungs were burning for air...  
  
"Wha... no...Aya?!" He sounds so confused...  
  
His once cold black heart was slowing down to a tiny beat...  
  
'Aishiteru.... '  
  
  
  
  
  
----  
  
To tell you.....  
  
----  
  
  
  
"Aya?!"  
  
It was too late...  
  
He was already gone...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
o.o..... You all hate me now don't you.... x_x Don't hurt me!!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Weiß does not belong to me, and never will, see! Look what I have done! And the song is "Before I'm Dead" by Kidney Thieves... I have no idea why I used that song.. I just love it. ^__^;; 


End file.
